My continued journey of my struggle with anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia. From start to current progress, overcoming obstacles and hopefully helping a few others that suffer from this problem. As I get better along my journey my blogs are turning more to outdoor adventures, life adventures, things I am doing now or want to do that were never in my vocabulary 5 years ago.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Just another odd day after odd day
Alright, so I was having "issues" mowing lawn again, well that was great and all, so Jeanne took over for awhile and mowed so I could relax my brain for a bit, it apparently is still there. She wasn't out too long, before the mower "died" due to driver malfunction...... ran over a dog tie out we "both" had not accounted for in the mowing process, therefore wrapping it tightly in the undercarriage of the mower and around the blades tightly enough that the incredible hulk gave up on the removal process.
Another day in paradise? So, after tinkering with that for a hour, decided I'd have to drop the mower deck,,, , *cough* tomorrow, and rectify that issue. In the meantime, my neighbor and his wife who are elderly and can't really get out to do the outside work, and some inside work, I mow for them and other odds and ends. They were gone for the day, figured might as well do the mowing so I don't disturb them as much when mowing. It's about 4.5 hours worth of mowing, yeah great...... A hour into it, the deck starts smoking plumes of white smoke, oh boy.... belt. Shut down fast, lift up the deck, make sure there is no fire, because I'm no where any water and I don't have to pee.
Anyway, it's a no-turn radius mower, decks in front you run it with those two hand push pull levers. Not that it matters, but I was not aware that this mower's deck up front loves to fill up with whatever it runs over quickly. That baby was full of sticks and walnuts, apples you freaking name it, well no wonder it was smoking, had enough crap in there to back an apple pie with crushed walnuts and a smoky flavor with hickory sticks. Well, the belts shot, by looks of it, it wasn't long for this world anyway, but I didn't help matters. Two mowers in one day, and not much to show for. Neighbor had given me a number for his repair guy before they left. Either he's telepathic, or a genius, but whatever repair came the next day. I was having enough anxiety issues anyway, so whatever. moving on.
Had been an up and down anxiety ridden crappy feeling headache driven want to sleep all day and hope for tomorrow kind of a day anyway. But screw it, I am going hunting tonight and that's all there is to it, makes me feel good to be out in the woods, where there is peace and quiet and relaxation........ yeah whatever, was deer walking around me all night, had to sit in a man-made ground blind and not move while the deer screwed around all night, yeah , nice and freaking calm.
Close to the end of "quitting" time, end of legal shooting time, thought I'd check my "secret" spot, I'd heard a deer towards end of season walk into the soybean field to my south, nothing else was worth looking at, just had a feeling you know? Well, I slowly made my way through the weeds and brush quiet as could be before the day was over, and of course everything was dead quiet now, even breathing sounded like a shout, so I gave that up, turned blue shortly after, but that's alright maybe I will blend in with the sky? Anyway, got to where I could peak into the field through all the wild rose bushes, and yep, sure enough, 25 yards away staring my way a real nice 2 and half year old 10 pointer. He's staring I'm staring, well I knew what he was, and knew that it meant I'd eat good tonight, and he thought I was either a being from outer space, or something he had no idea about, but wanted nothing to do with.
That was evident, as I drew my bow back and let fly an arrow that flew straight and true and headed right at his chest area....... The bad part is, he was already so darn jumpy as soon as I let go of the arrow he dropped about a foot and half and did a 180 and took off before the arrow was half way to him, I did kill at least two soy bean plants, but other than that, not a hell of a lot came of that night of hunting.
And since I was so relaxed this fine day of trials and tribulations, and the hunting tonight was so relaxing, hell why not? Let's take my new , OK, SUV , I call it a truck, but whatever, I'll take it by myself the mile and half to town to get Jeanne her priced smokey treats, (cigarettes) and surprise her. Heck I had no trouble at all, even with the ups and downs of today. And sure enough I get home, and she's ready to take off to the store, I did surprise her that I went on my own, never done that. Was really hoping for some hug or cheer, for my efforts, for me it's like climbing Mt Everest. But, *sigh* nothing. Had to ask for it. Oh well moving on from that.
Ok, today mower fixed, 3 hours worth of mowing to do on neighbors lawn, *hayfield* it looked like. been awhile since I've had to mow it, or been to wet to mow it, but I had zero trouble today even though I wasn't feeling the greatest, but got it done, need to go back and spend a good hour going over the spots that look like I dumped 200 pounds of dry grass over it, but eh oh well, it's done for now, and I dropped the deck on our mower and fixed that issue, just have to reattach that and finish ours, probably will borrow neighbors and finish it, with his blessing.
Ok, mixed bag of nuts for the day, I'm out of here.
Later.
Lance