Saturday, October 19, 2013

Feels like winter coming!

Leaves turned quickly and are falling like rain, cold windy and rainy out, only thing this temperature is good for is HUNTING!! Thank God I can do that again, every day I feel so lucky to be able to be out and be able to hunt again, especially without having to have a babysitter.   And Jeanne is thankful that I don't need her to baby sit me constantly. 

As much as I loved hunting and fishing, that is what I've missed the most in my long struggle is that ability to do it whenever I wanted to, and have that taken away from me was so hard.  Now I can actually have a resemblance of normalcy back into why crazy world. 

On a different note. My Grandma had a nice birthday party for Amber and Dan's youngest today, her first birthday!  Nice time getting to see them as well as getting to chat with Phil and Jill again, really enjoy listening to their stories and my Dad just loves them do death.  Hopefully can get to see them more often. Good friends, good health good times.  And of course I have to play the creepy older step-brother to Amber which I know she adores.

So, we gained a few extra unwanted pounds, now back down to Dad's house and I'm putting up some patchwork insulation in my pop up camper so I don't freeze my tootsies off as the weather drops again tonight into the low 30's.  Last night was all right.  It does have a propane furnace which works well enough.  Installed smoke detector and carbon monoxide testers,  but I won't have the luxury of that heater if we camp this time of year where there is no electricity, so I'm trying to get by without using that.  Using emergency blankets to cover the windows, blankets to section off both pop up bed sections, layering on another set of blankets on top and under the sleeping bags.  

It's windy and cold out now, and was nice and toasty warm, but not 30 degree "warm" so we'll see how tonight goes :).

Ok, hunting. again I know right?  I'll keep it simple, sat in a ground blind, saw an enormous doe and her fawn again, but they just don't like coming anywhere near our blind.  Have to rethink that location of the blind I believe.

Moving on for now. Did dream I shot an African Lion and a doe last night on the farm, which I thought was odd?  And was dreaming I was back selling real estate again.  I really miss that job, loved it.  Felt horrible having to basically call in "sick" to my manager one late night, and say I just couldn't continue on because of this anxiety crap.  My living was gone. I missed 3 years of the best real estate buying and selling there ever was and probably ever will be again. 
That was a big kick in the gut on top of it all, interest rates dropped through the floor.  And I couldn't hardly leave the house, couldn't get in a car, heck could hardly talk on the phone.  And when this crap all started I was off to an outstanding year, coming off the year before of nearly 5 million in sales, I had already had over 2.5 million by end of February, with tons of listings just coming in.  I really miss that. 

Have to thank Bill and Judy K for all their help through the years I was with their company.  Best personal move I ever made joining their ranks and they did a heck of a lot to help me personally succeed.  SO,  THANK YOU. Miss you guys.

I just dread having to go back through real estate classes and that dreadful test again, and into a market that's iffy at best.  Never know.

So, in the meantime, I keep pushing forward, instead of the one step forward 5 steps back I had while enjoying the life of anxiety, I know leap 10 forward with an occasional step back that doesn't last long.  With winter coming, I'm hoping my renewed enjoyment of hunting, fishing and the like, I'll keep active outdoors and not sit on my ass and let the worries and what-ifs get their claws into me,  that's a rough time of year, gets dark so early, seems like your day is gone by before you get a chance to do anything.

What I have to say is, I love that I have been getting new people watching my blog, I try to not keep it solely on what I'm doing or up to, and try to give people who suffer from similar issues or know of people with, hope, or ideas of what to do or not to, when to get medical help is up to them or you, but it saved my life.  Without I can't even say how I'd be doing now, but I sure as heck wouldn't be up to typing anything at all.  

But like I say, so many new faces have been reading through, and I love to see that,  if there is something you would like answers to, or help with, or a topic discussed? Feel free to message me, if it has to do with depression, anxiety or panic, I've pretty much became a professional at it, I've seen I believe everything there is to see with it.

Thanks for reading, please feel free to share my blog, more people it may help the better.

Thanks again!!