Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Back to "normal" ?

Well, home again.  Already miss the farm,  but I know for a fact if the farm still had cows?  I doubt I'd be saying the same thing.  But, now to clean up the aftermath of short vacations with clothes and dog toys to find home for, and the closet I cleaned out after a short 21 year tenure.  Wow what a flashback to the 80's holy crap!!

Did find quite a few hidden treasures that were long forgotten, but that's not important to the world.  Not sure we even got a welcome back except from the kids,  all I heard was "we wondered when you were coming home, the grass needs to be cut".  Welcome home! 

It's Monday, need rest!!, spent the whole day just trying to organize the mess we brought back,  Loki was right back at home and right back to normal, not sure I was though.  Not much really happened besides back to the normal routine right off the bat,  constant knocking on our door, and being pulled away for constant,  "I can't find this, where is it at".   Wasn't my day to watch it response usually gets me a dirty look, but heck I didn't touch whatever you are looking for, why do we always have to know where everything is gee whiz hehe.

Anyway,  Tuesday comes around,  and some may remember that I have a terrible time on the lawn mower,  usually sends my anxiety and panic into full bloom,  well, I wasn't about to come back from an anxiety free trip to let that mower get me today,  so off I went.  And at first it was really fighting me, anxiety was tugging one way, and mower the other, but I continued on for a good hour and a half, took a break, pulled some weeds and fired up the weed eater for a hour,  then back on the mower for another 30 minutes until a large majority of the 2.25 acres was cut,  then I handed it off to Jeanne to finish.  I was pretty proud.  For some reason,  the vibration, or the bumpy ground, or just because it's nearly like driving a car, it really gets my goat.  But for today I partially conquered one more demon.

And tonight we have puppy class!  Always a joy, I love taking Loki to puppy school, and he really seems to enjoy it as well,  beautiful night, and the drive was great, and he had probably the best night he's had yet.  We've had dogs before, and for most part seem to be very good with training them.  But what really made us feel great, the past 2 times at class, we start out the same routine,  go over what we learned last time, then onto a few new things.  Well the last 2 times in class, the trainer pulled us basically quietly aside, gave us a few things to work on, on our own, and said you guys already know what you are doing,  I'll go help the others, and you can just do whatever.

Proud of Loki and ourselves, apparently we've got a good dog.  A lot of times the trainer brings her husky with her, and half the time I'm holding the leash for her and watching her dog while she helps others,  apparently I'm a good dog also hehe.

Gives me a lot of confidence doing the training, it's fun, it focuses me and Loki and keeps the thought of panic out of my mind.  So we'll probably sign up for more training classes, good for Loki, and good for us as well, hopefully give Loki the best life he lead, and less problems for us.

Wednesday, Jeanne went to Mukwonago to cut her mother's lawn,  I had plenty to keep me busy here, and wanted to see how I reacted with her not around for 2-3 hours.  As you know, me being alone,  by alone means without Jeanne I normally have had a very hard time,  Not this time, 3 hours went by, I forgot she had left, that may sound bad, but it's music to my ears not having to worry and rely upon that crutch.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, everyday puppy park for at least a hour,  Friday was craaaazy there, must of been 20 dogs there, normally it's 5 or 6,  there was dogs everywhere, was a madhouse,  I still was fine, but Loki's girlfriend was there,  and you can't keep him away from her no matter what training you give him, she's about the same age, and must be about to come into heat,  he's trying to ride her all over the park,  the owners of the dog and us get along great,  but after a while,  our dog humping theres nonstop, well not so good,  so we had to part ways and get out of there hehe.

Wednesday we also went shopping a bit, and I had a really hard time in Walmart, out of the blue after the puppy park, which I felt great,  sudden bout of panic, really bothered me bad, couldn't wait to get in the car and go home, but had trouble in the car also, had to get in back and hold Loki and pet him, then I was fine, don't know what was up, but really bad night.   Then again Saturday morning and a bit Sunday morning,  started up really bad Saturday and finally passed, same Sunday, unsure what was causing it,  I no longer dwell on it, work through it, but was really worrying at the time,  all I could think about was "uhoh" here we go again.

Need to get my mind on something different, so we bought some paint, and are going to paint our place, all rooms, been planning on it anyway, but now I need to keep busy from sun up to sun down for a while until I'm going completely forward again.

More on this later.