My journey has taken to me to extreme highs and extreme lows, The years that I couldn't even leave the house, tore me apart inside, but my remaining fire burned deeply to return to the woods. Even in darkest times the pure love and joy of being in the timber with the sounds of nature, the squirrel chattering away and blue jays announcing an intrusion in it's neighborhood.
As I lay here in bed now, thinking about all that I went through, my greatest victory now that I'm able to actually enjoy much of life again is the ability to go out to my bow stand again. So, I had to turn on this laptop and just write a little bit about my thoughts.
I think we all suffer from some sort of anxiety, whether it be getting nervous about talking in front of a group of people, walking out of stand when it's too dark to see with either wolves or coyotes howling in the distance, or trying to calm yourself as you draw back on the biggest buck you have ever seen, and realizing its you shaking not some phantom ghost wiggling the entire tree.
That's where I find peace within myself. I still struggle mightily at times controlling the anxiety that had taken so many years from me, but I'm not going to spend the rest of my life living in the past when the future is right in front of me to enjoy.
My thoughts take me to the many times past and present I have stood in that tree stand waiting and waiting, through all the weather mother nature can throw at you, and when you see a deer, even a yearling buck or a small doe emerge from the shadows into your sight, time seems to stand still for a little while. All troubles you may have had that day, that week, or in your life, seem to fade away , even just for a little while.
The peaceful grace of the Whitetail, or for that matter nearly all creatures stirring about, just bring a warm feeling of being part of something greater, bigger and better than yourself, and feel pride that I can just be a part of it, no matter how big or small.
And how much that calm and peace can be so easily shattered once that big old buck strolls down the trail you so carefully watch, it's all fun and games, and enjoyment until you know you are going to actually try to draw back your bow and send an arrow down range. That's when your heart reminds you that it's alive and well.
So, as I take my next step into the unknown, I hope you all take time to reflect when you climb into your stand and appreciate the pureness of the game we play.......
Bring on hunting season, I'm ready.
Thanks for reading.
Lance Penniston.